Clapology

We were discussing the typical Wimbledon audience clapping-etiquette the other day and realized how up-tight those people are. There are only two deductions anyone can draw from the mass-behaviour exhibited by them.
They are not at all expressive. (or)
They constrain themselves a lot. (you know, bottling up)
I think they even have a pre-fixed number for how many claps they can clap after each point, each game, each set and finally each match. Most of them have a mental decibel counter such that they don't clap louder than that dictated by the queen or the referee or whoever decides these things for them!
Now, while clapping, if you are amongst Wimbledon audience, you must dispose of a perfect sitting posture i.e. your legs and thighs, thighs and torso, arms and biceps .. must all be at perfect right angles. And after the appropriate number of claps or t = t1 (pre-fixed) whichever occurs first, you should stop clapping. In some cases, the match referee might say "Thank you"(in the mike) while you are clapping. This should be translated by your brain to all your motor nerves as "Drop dead now!" Obviously, no "woo-hoo"ing or "boo"ing. Hence, one would enjoy a lot more by sitting in front of the TV at home than by being in Wimbledon.

*Note: If you see a guy clapping while standing or shouting slogans or encouraging the players, you can be sure that he'll be vehemently condemned.

Credits:
1. Pogo - Shuttle freak
2. EC - Sarcasrtic commentator
3. Ghajini - PJ Man
4. Pandi - Gay for Fedex